John Jay Cunningham, Jnr.

 

I only met Johh Jay a few times since Christalia met him. The first time was in the Summer of 1993. I wanted to take a break from my first year of college. I had chosen to study Law but then I decided that it was not for me and that I wanted to switch to Physics. Before making the big jump, I decided to go and visit my mom's family in the US and Jamaica on that Summer (I was born and raised in Italy).

I met Chrissie and John Jay in New York first. At that time Chrissie was pregnant and had a very big bump. She was beautiful, sweet, kind and had a beautiful smile. He was handsome, sweet, kind and had a beautiful smile. They looked at each other in adoration while they were busy buying clothes and accessories for the baby (a lot of them!), meeting friends and relatives, sightsaw the city with me.


Then later that summer, I joined them again in Jamaica. At that point Chrissie had an even bigger bump and was busy getting everything ready before delivering their baby. Jonh Jay would go to work during the day and come back home as soon as possible to spend time with
Chrissie. Again, they would look and talk at/to each other in adoration.I also have memories of several conversations about Physics or Maths. John Jay tested me several times with trivia on both the subjects, but most importantly, he gave me a lot of suggestions about my future career and tried to comfort me about my fears for the future. I was young and eager to listen to such a bright person's suggestions.

I then met John Jay and Chrissie again in New York about ten years later from that first time, in 2003 and 2004, soon after I moved there. This time it was not only the two of them, they were together with their two children, Peter and Nicholas. They were handsome, sweet, kind, had beautiful smiles and they looked at each other in adoration.

The first time we went out for dinner in a Chinese restaurant (I think) and I took my best friend Alessandro with me, who was in town on a vacation, and that really wanted to meet them. John Jay made us laugh with his many jokes. It was hilarious.

The second time was the following Summer. My partner and I were leaving to go to Italy and the whole family stayed in our very small one-bedroom-non-conditioned-apartment in very-hot-and-sticky Manhattan. I have no idea how they managed! That was the last time that I personally met John Jay, sadly.

I then met him again through my partner's tales, as he went to Jamaica on a short trip a couple of years ago. He was hosted by this beautiful family for a few days. He came back loving them. He said that they were handsome, sweet, kind, had beautiful smiles and they looked at each other in adoration....

John Jay - the peacemaker, thinker, inventor, collector of images and memories, family man, star-gazer, lover of nature and humanity, kind, quiet (too quiet), with a twinkle always in your eye, a smile on your face, and a better way of doing something working itself out in your head.  Always there, dependable as a rock - but suddenly not.  John Jay, the inscrutable, the heart-breaker.  Did you know, John Jay, how much we, your friends, loved you?  Did we ever tell you?

Well to be honest, I never met John Jay more than 5 times during my whole life in Jamaica. Whenever I did meet him, we would talk for a long time, about so many interesting things, the most recent of converstations that we had, was about the various calendars of different religions. He taught me a lot, during the few rare meets we had. He was a great person, with a lot to share. I really do genuinely miss him... and I am with you Ms. V, all the way... Rest In Peace.

 

  It was back in the early 70’s, that J.J. and I were a couple. At that time we were virtually inseparable. I remember it felt strange to walk down the street by myself because I was so used to walking arm in arm everywhere with him.

  To me he was quite simply the guy who knew everything and could fix anything. I have to credit him with getting me through my university courses. There was never a question that I brought to him that he could not answer. Even in 4^th year, I could ask him questions that were supposed to be in my areas of expertise and he was never stumped for an answer. I can still see him sitting cross-legged on the floor reading his Scientific American magazines—for pleasure!

  When I brought him home with me he quickly became part of the family. He even impressed my father. And anyone who has ever met my father knows he is a very difficult man to impress!! On one occasion, I remember we went out fishing with my dad, and true to form, part of the motor fell off. We were stranded in the middle of Lake Ontario! No problem. J.J. promptly pulled out his huge Swiss army knife that he always carried with him.(as I recall it even had a pair of scissors and a tooth pick attached) and put the thing back together again. I remember the look of, first disbelief and then respect on my father’s face. And this respect grew as he realized J.J. could talk with great intelligence about history and geography and could play a mean game of chess to boot!

  My brother in law was equally impressed when he first met J.J.. He thought he was the only one on the planet who could talk like Donald Duck. Imagine his surprise when he greeted J.J. with “hello” in Duck style and J.J. answered back in the same. He thought he had found a kindred spirit because, as it turned out, J.J. also knew all about cars and engines, makes, models etc., etc. and the two of them talked endlessly about these things.

  My sisters and mom adored J.J. for his kind and generous spirit. They also appreciated his calm, positive and logical approach to things.

You never know where life will take you and it eventually took J.J. and I in different directions. Still I have never forgotten him and our time together. He has often crossed my mind, especially when faced with a philosophical dilemma, I ask myself “what would J.J. think of this?” and I’m sure I will continue to do so.

A person’s legacy has to be based on their entire life, and J.J.’s generosity, caring and affection, which he gave so freely, are the things I will always remember about him.

My deepest condolences to his family

Chris Schwarzkopf

I am not sure that my memories of JJ would add anything to the picture. I can remember only that anticipating his attendance at a gathering made it seem more fun to look forward to, that his presence would make any gathering seem more jovial and enjoyable. He seemed to have a charisma that could engender a sense of hopefulness or expectancy in others. JJ seemed to take pleasure in warmly teasing people without being unkind, but to the enjoyment of anyone present. I can remember the very first time I made a cup of coffee for him, I asked if he wanted cream in it. With a mischievous glint in his eye he replied, "just make it match the colour of my skin!!"

I remember the summer when JJ, Gary and I were hanging out at the outdoor cafe on Harbord Street in Toronto. We were young, single and unemployed. We met at the cafe every afternoon to drink coffee, discuss communication theories, argue about the predictability of daily events, and come up with strategies for meeting women. Being the most logical of the three, JJ figured out that in order to maximize his chance of meeting women he would hang out at places where there would be a lot of them - so he signed up for a cooking class, a knitting class and a dance class. That summer in Toronto was almost thirty years ago. But it stood out for me whenever I think of JJ. JJ, my dear friend, I will miss you. Paul

Reminiscences of a Young Man ...I have been remembering and reflecting on J.J. I can still picture his smile beaming out. I can’t remember him ever being angry or down. He was such an upbeat person. I am remembering the hikes in the Canadian countryside a group of friends went on in the summer. I still see his peculiar bopping gait as we went along the paths. It is a warm glorious sunshiny day. I remember another summer day. We are in High Park and it was decided that I should learn to ride a bicycle. I still see him running beside me steadying the bicycle and shouting encouragement. One summer we drove down to New York City. He was quite proud of the fact that he had organized his passport and other travel documents in his briefcase, since he had earned a reputation for being disorganized. When we arrived at the U.S. customs at Niagara Falls, he reached over into the back seat to retrieve the brief case and found nothing. He had left it outside his apartment in Toronto. The U.S. customs would not let us enter and wrote a letter stating that we had not entered the U.S. Canadian Immigration would not let us in since JJ had no identification what so ever. After a bit of reasoned logic and checking by the immigration officer, JJ was able to persuade him that he was who he said he was by remembering his date of original entry to Canada. His arguments were helped by my laughter at the predicament. He was not upset. We drove back to Toronto, retrieved the travel documents and restarted our journey to NYC. JJ kept me together. When I moved to Toronto in 1976, I had few friends and I was not working. I was quite down. I met JJ and his group of friends. They were such a big help to me. They gave me a social life. JJ was particularly supportive. He gave me a room in his house for the month when I was taking intensive accounting courses because I could walk to classes. I doubt that I would have passed those exams if I had to commute. He is so generous. I was honored that he agreed to be part of our wedding party. It was a pleasure for us to have met you. These are inadequate words and memories. I cannot let a single final act define a life and negate everything he ever did. JJ is a kind, generous human being to whom I owe a lot. I will forever be in his debt. He is a good friend to me. Memories of him wash over me and bring me joy and comfort. Rest well, my friend. Gary and Christine

I knew JJ from the mid-1970s to the mid-1980s when he returned to Jamaica for good. After his return contact between us dwindled, till in the last ten years we communicated only occasionally through the odd email message. But while he was living here in Toronto I saw him almost every week because he was a significant member of a group of friends who had come together. I don't call him a significant member of the group just to be kind. He was significant by being the most lively, active and cheerful member of our group. He was also by far the most generous of us all. I can well remember the anguish it caused him when he had to refuse someone something. He would offer explanation after explanation for why he couldn't be generous on this occasion. I used to laugh and say to him, "It's alright, JJ. You have the right to say no." I don't know if he ever told you that our group used to get together every Thursday evening to try a new restaurant. The original plan had been for us to eat our way through every restaurant in Toronto's Chinatown. I don't think we visited even half of them because after a while members of the group started suggesting other resaurants, Italian, Portuguese, Mexican etc. But the routine of meeting near the end of every week held the group together for years. Over time members of the group brought into it new people they had met and so our circle of friends expanded. I remember on one occasion, this time in a Chinese restaurant, JJ was holding forth with a long and complicated explanation on a subject I forget. He was waving his chopsticks about to illustrate his explanation. Then he jabbed the table with a chopstick. It snapped and half of it flew high up in the air. All heads in the restaurant turned round to watch the chopstick turning cartwheels over JJ. Even the waiters froze and stared. I don't think they'd ever seen anything like it happen before. JJ was very embarrassed to be noticed in this way. The rest of us laughed at how he'd caught the attention of the whole restaurant. There was a period during our friendship when the two of us developed a passion for chess. JJ would come over to my apartment and we'd sit on its living room floor with a chessboard between us, sip wine or beer and play game after game. I actually recorded some of these games in chess notation under the misguided idea that the two of us were very skillful players. The truth is, we were just amateurs. But that had no effect on our passion for the game. While playing we'd talk about every subject under the sun. As I said in my earlier message, JJ loved to analyze, hypothesize and speculate. It didn't matter to us that sometimes we were discussing subjects we really knew very little about and often had our facts wrong. Hell, we were young then and bursting with curiosity and thrilled to discover how agile our minds were that they could play with big ideas. I also remember how annoyed I'd get because JJ was never on time. He'd always turn up in a rush and often had forgotten to bring something to the meeting. Then he'd laugh at me as I went into a snit and wave those long hands of his about and promise to run home to get what he'd forgotten to bring. And I'd say no because they he'd forget to come back. The rest of our friends got used to him always being late or even mixing up dates and not showing up at all. He was always juggling too many balls at the same time and, being generous, making too many promises to different people, so that he ended up disappointing someone. I can also remember Prem lecturing him about always being late, then throwing his hands up and saying the case was hopeless.... I will always remember JJ with great affection because even the memory of his shortcomings make me smile. Please accept my deep sympathy for the loss you and your sons have suffered. Nicholas and Peter should have known their father longer, so that they would have had the joy of appreciating him after they came to maturity. Every son deserves the right to be able to talk to his father as one adult to another. That's when a son gains a true appreciation of his father and of the debt he owes him. James